I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize