I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
