i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize