idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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