yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
do nipples grow back?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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