return my video game
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
