I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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