Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize