Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
