Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
