This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
