I think I won the penis lottery.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The air taste purple.
Randomize
