i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
