do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
