God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING