a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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