She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
