Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
