I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
