was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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