remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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