I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
