Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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