need another drink. this is the easiest way
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
