Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
