she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
