i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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