Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she peed on how many people?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
