I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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