I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
