that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize
