I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
