Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
