dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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