Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
