3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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