All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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