Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
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she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
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Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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