I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
