When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think my moral compass just broke
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