so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
