Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
