I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize