Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
