I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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