Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
