So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
