He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I forget how to act sober
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
