I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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