When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
