OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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