You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
