i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
