We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
