I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
