we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize