yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize