They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize